I found all those nostalgic online games so you don’t have to


One of the best things about the 2000s was the fact that we were all just given unfettered access to the internet. There were no apps to track screen time or child blockers. We were all just allowed to run free, like internet ponies. The cute, small kind. And, yeah it was awesome. But at the same time… who decided it was a good idea to give us THAT MUCH POWER? It’s no wonder adolescents are snorting condoms.

Granted, unlike some of my peers who were watching tentacle porn or researching blue waffles, I spent most of my time playing games. I am convinced that the first and true purpose of the internet was the Flash game.

God didn’t make those on accident. And he especially didn’t just trip and pop out EverythingGirl.com.

YOU REMEMBER THIS WEBSITE

In a bout of nostalgia, I went and found links for every ICONIC internet game from our childhood I could find. I have Barbie games, Kim Possible games, and Lizzie McGuire makeovers all in the same place. And no bitch, of course I didn’t forget Sandwich Stacker.

Let’s start with some Disney games

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody: Tipton Trouble

The game that taught me it’s ok — nay, GOOD — to run from authority figures.

London’s Suite Styler

Fashion advice from the STYLE ICON herself.

Maddie’s Snack Encounter

If you didn’t want to be Maddie, you ain’t real.

Pizza Party Pickup!

Perhaps the hidden origin of the “touch my butt and buy me pizza” era?

Kim Possible: Shopping Avenger

Kim Possible: teaching us all you can save the world with only a PASSION for FASHION.

Kim Possible: A Sitch in Time

From the HISTORIC Kim Possible movie about time travel, something that still interests me to this day thanks to the Disney Channel.

Bueno Rufus

Which definitely predicted the rise of Chipotle.

Dress Up Lizzie

We REALLY accepted those pixels as Hilary Duff’s face? Smdh.

Lizzie McGuire Turbo Racer

I was an eight-year-old racing LEGEND, don’t @ me.

Cory’s Money Maze

If only Kyle Massey had HALF of this money now. That poor, poor failed child star.

Lilo and Stitch’s Sandwich Stacker

WE STILL TALK ABOUT THIS ON THE REGULAR. THINK ABOUT THAT. EXPERIMENT 625’s MIND.

Hannah Montana: Malibu Manicure

I loved painting online nails because my mom wouldn’t let Baby Me use real nail polish. Adorable, I know.

Hannah Montana: Rock Star Fashion Challenge

Honestly, they should’ve let me dress the real Hannah Montana. Her outfits probably would’ve turned out better.

Now let’s get into BARBIE

Barbie’s Zoom and Groom

This game is solely responsible for me considering a horse a viable pet option.

Barbie’s Let’s Babysit Baby Krissy

You were basically Kylie Jenner with Stormi but 10 years ago. Way ahead of the trend.

Barbie Superstar Makeover

Honestly, it’s no wonder so many girls from your High School work at the MAC counter at Macy’s after this game.

And MyScene

MyScene Room Makeover

HGTV, whomst?

MyScene Shopping Spree

Pretending to be a Kardashian before I even knew what a Kardashian was.

MyScene Dazzling Nails

I just LOVED doing some bitches UP.

MyScene Beauty Studio

I know, I know… they redid the faces. ?

Polly Pocket

Polly’s Hair Stylin’ Salon

WIG.

Polly’s Wacky Wardrobe

Peep Polly’s small glasses — a TREND-SETTER.

Polly’s Beautiful Bedroom

POLLY WAS SO FUTURISTIC. Did Elon Musk design her furniture?!

Polly’s Drive N’ Style

Where I pretended I could drive… or had the money for clothes at a humble 8 years old.

Polly’s Rockstar Makeover

Because Polly was not only a fashion icon, but a rock star. We love a multi-dimensional woman.

And for the real internet OGs… Diva Starz (a doll you probably forgot existed)

Diva Starz Fashion Emergency!

Where you dressed up these bitches unconventionally large feet.

Diva Starz Dress ‘Em and Do The Walk!

These jumpsuits omgggg

Diva Starz Rock The House

Where they were ROCK STARS. Do you see a trend?

Related stories:

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If you did ANY of these things as a kid, you’re depressed now





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